TWENTY-FOUR DAYS before Christmas
This, is what's been worrying me.
Turning sample number 76 from 1300 foot.
We finally found something else than just plain rocks and dirt.
Have a look for yourself, sir.
Sawdust.. Hmm.
At first I thought we drilled into some old tree or something.
But, no.
This level of sawdust is 65 foot thick.
It doesn't add up, it doesn't make sense.
It does.
In the olden days people used to store ice by encasing it in sawdust.
Yea, but what do you mean, what are you trying to say.
This mountain, it's like a giant icebox.
For storing, what?
- Drill deeper and you will see. - Well, I am..
They're drilling as we speak
- Make sure everyone has one of these. - What are these?
It's the new safety instructions.
Wash behind the ears.
This is funny shit!
Watch your mouth!
It's Christmas time.
So, let's act like it.
KORVATUNTURI mountain drill site
Hey, someone's coming.
Mr. Green, I think we found something.
Sample number 98.
I think you were right.
Always believe, always.
Gentlemen, listen up.
My dream, since my early childhood
Is about.. to come true.
I can proudly say,
That we are standing on the sacred grave..
Biggest burial mound in the world.
Something's been buried here.
This remarkable place puts even the pyramids to shame.
It took the Saami-People of Lapland centuries to build this mound,
You have 24 days to open it.
Roll up the sleeves, prepare the dynamite, do what you do best!
They're going to blow up this mountain.
We have a grave to rob.
Juuso!
Juuso! Wait!
Santa's been buried.
Juuso! Is Santa Claus dead?
Idiot, you still believe in Santa Claus?
You're such a little kid. Come on already.
- So they've lied to us this whole time. - At least to you.
What Santa came to our home then?
Piiparinen, haven't you realized that?
Piiparinen? Do you think Dad knows?
Your dad pays him for it.
Don't you understand, kid?
The whole Santa business is a fraud.
The Truth About Santa Claus.
First Santa Claus.
Have you been naughty?
Santa walks barefoot in the snow.
Santa making Christmas-Stew.
1 day before Christmas
Pietari!
Wake up! Wake up, son!
Pietari! Are you awake?
- Yea, yea. - Then get up, and get cleaned up!
Bad Vuppe. You were supposed to keep watch.
Dad!
Come here, Dad!
Come inside if you have something to say.
I don't want to.
Then go back in the house. I don't want you outside alone.
For real! I've got something important to tell you.
For real. Wolves are going to eat you,
And I'm not kidding, you hear?
Dad, I'm coming.
Close your eyes, little man. Your dad's working.
- You shouldn�t have turned off the lights. - Who's going to be looking at them at night?
- Were you on the roof? - Wha?
Under my window?
Pietari, I'm too busy to answer stupid questions.
- Were you, or not? - No, I was not there.
Perhaps the chimney sweep?
Go get dressed, chop chop.
- We've got to go. - Where?
Don't you remember what day it is?
Oh, right, it's reindeer round up day. Am I going too?
I'd think you were already dressed.
He's spying on us.
This is yours now.
Is it loaded?
Of course, it's not much use unloaded.
And take off those glasses.
Got a light?
Where is your father?
They had to take the snowmobiles,
Piiparinen couldn't get the chopper started.
Everybody off the fence!
Three, two, one!
Can you even use that thing, squirt?
Of course.
- Are you going to shoot Santa Claus? - He was outside my window yesterday
I thought you said he's dead. Try to make up your mind.
- Doing some electrical work? - You like my handiwork?
Got to try something, there's predators about.
The explosions are driving them crazy.
I wonder what they are looking for.
Some kind of research.
Hey, Check it out.
They're coming.
Dad! Dad!
They're coming!
Our refrigerators will soon be filled with meat.
Open the gate. Get out from under foot.
Come! Come in, what are you doing there.
- Two skinny little runts - Something's wrong
Maybe the others have just lost their way?
No, they haven't.
Merry Christmas to you.
- You say here. - Me too?
Look after Pietari.
What kind of a wolf makes a mess like this?
A big and fucking nasty one. Look at this.
All because of those idiots and their explosions.
Now we've got Russian wolves here too.
They found the hole.
Rauno, it's been cut with forceps.
It's our fault.
Not a word to your father, or I'll kick your ass!
We never went anywhere near that fence, remember that.
- They deserve to be shot. - They're probably gone already.
They are already gone. The last few days were very quiet.
Fuck, if it wasn't for the border, I'd kick all their asses.
You've got insurance, right?
No, we don't fucking have insurance.
Four hundred and thirty three carcasses.
Aimo, how much will it cost?
About 85 thousand.
Plus VAT, twenty two percent.
There's our money, rotting away.
He was very hungry.
So, what do we do now?
Let's go talk to them.
Fuck.
I hear they've paid off the border patrol,
To shoot trespassers on sight.
Crossing the border is a big deal.
Bankruptcy is also no small thing.
Pietari, come on!
This is a shitty idea!
They left in a hurry. Fuck!
Come see this!
Enlarged area
They found him Vuppe.
Seismic research, bullshit. They've been digging for something.
What the hell did they find?
That's the end of that.
What are you doing? Aren't you going to open it?
No.
- Tape these to your butt - Are you serious?
Do I look like I am?
You look, like you're wearing diapers.
So this is why you called me here?
Look at these.
The real Santa was a bit different, the Coca Cola Santa is a fraud.
These are from a story book.
This one isn't.
- What is this? - Evidence that some stories are real.
And what should I be seeing here?
The real Santa..
.. Who whips naughty children to death. Their blood spraying all over..
.. Until there's nothing left of them, not even the bones.
But how did he end up there?
A long time ago, the Saami-People were angry at him,
They lured him onto a frozen lake.
When Santa came, the ice broke under him.
Santa fell in and the lake froze completely trapping him.
When summer came, they pulled up a huge ice block,
They then buried it under several hundred meters of dirt and stones.
- And that became known as Korvatunturi. - Yep.
You're such a tool!
- When was the last time you got spanked? - Dunno. When I was little.
Should we tell them?
Listen, kiddo, do you have any idea what your dad's going to do..
When he hears those reindeer died because of you?
- Are you making gingerbread? - Are you hungry?
Yes.
- Did you play hockey? - No, just playing make-believe.
Must be a rough game.
Yes.
These are really good, just like mother used to make them.
Glad to hear that.
Dad?
What if I didn't exist?
What do you mean?
If I had disappeared.
You should disappear... into your bed. It's already very late.
Dad, do you think I've been nice?
Nice boys are already in bed at this hour.
Merry Christmas, Dad.
Merry Christmas, Pietari.
- This is Subzero one. - Finally!
- I've tried contacting you a thousand times! Where are you? - We *indistinct* tomorrow.
- Is the cargo ready!? - No!
We have to cancel the whole operation!
It's not what you think!
- I repeat. Is the cargo ready?! - Cargo?
Don't you understand?!
It still has a pulse!
Calm down, Mr. Green,
Just follow the safety instructions.
Fuck your safety instructions!
What the fuck?
CHRISTMAS
Stay there, I'll check it out.
Do you think this is funny?! You nearly killed me!
You're definitely not going skating!
You're grounded for Christmas.
I'm going for a pee.
Come on, Vuppe, let's go out.
Dad!.. DAD!
- What's wrong? - The bait's been taken
Carefully now.
Stay there.
Did you hear me?
Don't come any closer.
Some bird..
What is it?
There's nothing there.
- Can I take a look then? - No.
Some kind of a bird snatched the bait.
- I want to see it! - See what? There's nothing there.
Then why can't I look?
Because we haven't even had breakfast yet.
Hey.. We really don't have anything else?
These are fine.
If I eat all of these.. Then can I go take a look?
Then you take some more.
Are you angry at me?
No.
You wait here.
Did you hear me?!
You're still grounded.
- What the fuck took you so long? - Had to get ready for the Santa gig
Follow me and keep your mouth shut.
Vuppe, come on.
Serves him right for trespassing, god damned.
Greene, Brian, Jonathan.
Born in -52.
One of those nuts from the mountain.
Under 60 years old.
What are you going to say?
To whom?
People.
Nothing.
You probably are aware that wolf pits are illegal..
God damn you, Piiparinen!
Whether you like it or not, you're involved in this.
- I ought to.. - Be silent,
And think.. If you know how.
I have exactly one hour, before my first Santa gig.
Vuppe, stay.
Did you see?
He's breathing. Tough old guy.
What's he doing?
He's scenting something.
Pietari.
Pietari!
I told you to stay inside!
Pietari! Get back here right now!
- Did he see? - Well, what do you think?
Hey, I've gotta get to work.
What do I do with that one?
Chitchat with him.
Shit!
Pietari, Pietari. God damned.
What is he up to?
- Afternoon. - Hello
- What he hell sort of a dress are you wearing? - What?
- Is everything all right? - What do you mean?
Horrible ghostly figure...
.. Been going around town.
Strange things have happened.
Everything's fine with us, isn't that right Pietari?
Then you're an exception.
I see the whole murder squad showed up.
- What's messed up here then? - My side-business.
Couple of hundred sacks of potatoes, the whole harvest.
I'm here for potatoes?
Yes!.. And no.
They just took the bags.
Holy hell..
Last night nearly every house got their heaters stolen.
Ripped right out of the walls.
It's going to be a damn cold Christmas.
Inkeri's hair blower was stolen from the bathroom.
Who would need all that old crap?
Listen. Our junk is high tech to the Russians.
- Pietari, shouldn't we be heading home now? - No.
- Where's Juuso? - Probably still asleep
Pietari!
Not so fast.
Let's take a look at your car.
Juuso.
Juuso, wake up. He's at our place now.
Juuso?
Juuso has been taken!
- What's this? - It was in Juuso's bed.
Maybe he's snuck out to see a girl.
When I was your age, we used to make a building out of pillows and..
- Pretended it's... - He'll probably be home by nightfall.
- You still don't understand? - Pietari! Nobody wants to listen to your nonsense.
- Now I can go? - Yes, go.
Aimo, you speak English, right?
Why?
We need a translator.
Oh shit.
Old devil.
Gingerbread?
So, who am I translating for? I have other things to do.
We have guests from Korvantunturi.
- What kind of guests? - American guests.
Get inside now.
- But dad, we have to help Juuso! - Nonsense, Juuso is a big boy.
Well?
You can not go there, he's not human.
- Not a human? - Not human!
- He bit me, damned! - Well, well..
- This I have to see. - No, really, don't..
Look at that. There's something about him, something odd.
- Am I right? - He's foreign..
Go talk to him.
Be careful.
How do you like the land of the Northern Lights?
I'm not going there alone.
Understood.
Cover me.
This does nothing.
Wake up, Grandpa!
We need money.
Pietari here, hi. Sorry to bother you on Christmas Eve, but is Hemppa home?
Oh, he isn't... Well, thanks anyway.
No, haven't seen. Oh, and Merry Christmas to you. Bye.
Give me the broom.
Where are your friends?
Ask him what they dug out of the mountain.
What did you dig inside the mountain?
Pretending to be deaf; old trick.
Tell him, we're keeping him here until someone pays.
- Like, as a hostage? - Yes!
Explain!
We keep you here 'til somebody pay.
- You're going to make him mad! - He doesn't understand.
This is just the first phase.
Last chance, asshole,
Rauno here will ask the next question; he don't speak English.
- What the fuck was that? - Dad!
Oh no, what does he want now?
Dad, we need to talk.
Pietari. Piiparinen and I are in the middle of something. What is it?
Spank me.
- Wha? - I need to get spanked.
Fifteen good strokes ought to do it.
What is wrong with you?
I've been naughty.
What have you done?
We went to Korvatunturi even after you told me not to.
Juuso and I made the hole in the fence.
You did what?
I'm the last one. Everyone else has been taken, Juuso too.
What is this nonsense?
They took all of the children.
Rauno, you gotta see this.
Wait for me here.
He's up to something.
See? He bit through this.
Look at his eyes.
What is he seeing?
Pietari!
No!
Do you know this guy?
Looks like he knows you.
He knows all the children in the world.
Who is he? Answer me!
He's been spying on us the whole time.
What do you mean? Speak up!
He's Santa Claus.
He came to get me. They dug him out at Korvatunturi.
A god damn fantastical creature! I knew there was something odd about him!
- He's coming right for us! - Dad, don't let him take me!
Get on the ground! Tell him.. Translate it for him!.. Get down on the ground!
Down boy! Go down!
He has his own language.
- He is not afraid of you, Dad! - Yes, he is
Tie him up.
- I'm not touching it. - Right now!
What was that?
Subzero One, do you read me?
It's coming from the jacket. Be careful.
Mr. Green? Is everything okay?
- We are landing in 30 Minutes. - What did she say?
They want him back.
Mr. Green?
Is Santa ready to fly?
- I'm right, aren't I? - What are you going to do?
This is Rauno. Rauno from Finland.
We have Santa Claus.
Who is this? Where is Mr. Green?
Tell them that we have Santa for sale.
How much are you going to ask for it?
- Enough to cover my debts. - At least.
- We should think about this. - Are you afraid?
We're giving it up way too easy.
Think about how much it might cost.
A real Santa Claus.
Someone is going to get rich from it.
That's what we're doing.
- Dad! - Stay here, this won't take long.
- It's Inkeri's hair dryer! - What the fuck?
Put the fucking thing away,
And try to look like you mean business.
Fucking little midget.
Who are you?
Where are my men?
- Say something. - Yea, yea; we are men.
Let's do business.
Business? What kind of business?
What do you want?
- How much do we want? -85 thousand.
85 thousand dollars.
- At minimum a million. - You shut up.
Hey. Where is the cargo?
The last door..
Shh, put down your weapons and smile..
As nice as you can.
Move slowly and do exactly as I say.
- What did he say? - We need to stay quiet.
This is not Santa.
What?
It's one of Santa's little helpers.
- What... fucking helper? - He says it's an elf.
Enough of that bullshit, show me the money!
God damned. Santa is going to find out who is naughty or nice.
What happened to him?
Is someone there?
What the fuck is that thing running there?
What the hell is happening here?
They're protecting their master.
Pietari! Pietari!
The Elves have built a nest for it.
.. For what?
- Is that..? - Yes.
They're trying to defrost it.
- Dad. - Shh, that was that?
Help, Daddy!
Juuso. They are all here. And about to get spanked.
Juuso, where are you?
- Kill the heaters! - Juuso, say something!
- Piiparinen, the door won't hold! - What should I do?
Pile stuff at the door!
We need to barricade it! Hurry!
Aimo, leave the brat there and come help us!
My son.
- Daddy, I want to go home! - We're all right, we're going home soon.
We're all going to die!
Dad!
Aimo!
Piiparinen!
Listen to me!
As long as Santa is here,
The elves will not leave kids alone.
It's either me, or Santa;
I suggest Santa.
This is Piiparinen. Pietari, you read me?
Pietari, read you fine.
- Ready for takeoff. - Roger.
- Why do I have to be in the sack? - Because it's my plan! Let's go.
- Here's another one. - Not Juuso.
All of the children must be together, otherwise this won't work.
I'm scared, Dad.
Piiparinen! The package is ready!
- Aren't you going to get cold out there? - You stay out of this!
Dad, don't worry, everything will be fine!
Cleared for takeoff!
You take care of your part, I'll take care of this!
Slow down! We'll wait for them here!
Piiparinen, look down!
I can't believe it, they're following us.
What did I say.
Piiparinen, let's turn back.
- What? - Let's fly to the corral!
What do you mean?
Pretend they're reindeer!
Reindeer?
Fuck yea! That's what we're going to do!
I guess we were a bit Naughty.
If you ever wondered, Aimo, how Santa manages to visit thousands..
Of places simultaneously; this is how.
Magic of Christmas.
Piiparinen, the gate is closed!
God damned. We have to think of something else.
There's no time, I'll open the gate!
You're not going anywhere!
I can not land there to pick you back up.
I'm not coming back.
Pietari? Do you hear me?
Pietari!
Piiparinen!
Tell Daddy what I did!
Dad..
A peaceful Christmas to all..
And a fucking banging New Year.
Feast your eyes on that, bastards!
What happened?
A Christmas miracle. Congratulations, Pietari!
You just made all the elves unemployed.
Take the kids home, it's way past their bedtime.
Roger, and out.
One hundred and ninety eight Santa Clauses.
Do the math Juuso, how much will it cost?
How much for one?
Eighty-Five thousand.
About 16.800.000, something like that.
Plus VAT, twenty two percent.
- You're quite a guy. - You too.
312 days until Christmas
Seventy-Six days before Christmas
There's nothing for you there, caveman!
TWENTY-FOUR DAYS before Christmas